There are several unwritten rules surrounding funerals and cremations. This can be difficult to get used to at first. However, they also make funerals less difficult because everyone knows what is expected of them. These rules serve as guidelines for funerals. There are also rules regarding funeral flowers, stipulating what you should and shouldn't do. In this article, we summarise the most important points of flower etiquette for funerals and cremations.

General: Respecting the wishes of the bereaved is always paramount

It may seem obvious, but it's worth reiterating that respect for the deceased and their loved ones is of the utmost importance. With this in mind, the etiquette surrounding flowers and funerals is actually quite easy to understand and remember.

In many cases, the condolence card will indicate where you can send flowers. This is usually where the deceased is buried, e.g. a funeral home. However, it is also customary to send flowers to a funeral home. Sometimes the card will also indicate which flowers or colours the deceased preferred, which can be interpreted as a request to give flowers of that type.

In some cultures, however, flowers are not customary at funerals. In that case, it is a sign of respect to refrain from giving flowers altogether. Are you unsure about this? If so, you could ask other guests what the bereaved would like.

Who gives which flowers at funerals?

Funeral arrangements come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. People often ask us what type of funeral flowers are best for them. The answer is actually quite simple: it always depends on your relationship with the deceased. Below, we have listed the five most common types of funeral arrangement.

Coffin covering

The flowers used to cover the coffin are usually arranged by the immediate family. This could be the deceased's partner, children or parents. If you are not a close relative, it is best not to provide a coffin covering at a funeral or cremation.

Funeral arrangements

Although funeral arrangements are usually made by the immediate family, anyone can provide one. These can be used by loved ones as a coffin cover. However, a funeral arrangement is also a beautiful gift for good friends, distant relatives, or close colleagues. It is then placed next to or in front of the coffin. A funeral arrangement is a luxuriously designed floral arrangement where the flowers are placed in special floral foam. This allows for many design possibilities, such as hearts and other unique shapes.

Funeral wreaths

Floral wreaths are also very fitting for a funeral. They are often given by children, siblings or a group of friends, for example. However, funeral wreaths are quite expensive, so they are less commonly given by those who are somewhat distant from the deceased. However, this is generally possible. Funeral wreaths look best displayed on a stand, which is readily available at most funeral homes.

Funeral bouquet

A funeral bouquet is a luxurious arrangement specially created for funerals, burials and cremations. However, it is somewhat less luxurious than a funeral arrangement or wreath. Therefore, guests who are not immediate family members often choose a funeral bouquet. However, nowadays, we also often see family members choosing this option, for example, because they find a bouquet more attractive.

Condolence flowers

A condolence bouquet is also a type of funeral flower. However, unlike funeral flowers, a condolence bouquet is intended to offer condolences to the bereaved. This type of bouquet can be delivered to the bereaved at home.

Should you take flowers to the funeral or have them delivered?

There are no specific rules indicating how the flowers should arrive at the funeral home or location of the funeral. Therefore, this is primarily a practical consideration, unless the condolence card explicitly states otherwise. Are you a direct relative? If so, the flowers are often arranged by the funeral director, possibly through your insurance. If not, we recommend having the flowers delivered by a funeral florist such as De Duinroos. The florist will then ensure the flowers are delivered perfectly and on time.

If you are more distantly related to the deceased, In that case, it just depends on your preference. If you bring a bouquet yourself, especially if you have arranged it yourself, it is more personal and often more affordable. However, having flowers delivered is more practical. Please note that you should have the flowers delivered to the correct location. This is usually the funeral home, unless otherwise specified on the condolence card.

Funeral and cremation flower etiquette: which flowers should you choose?

As well as choosing the right type of funeral flowers, it's important to consider the types and colours of flowers. Firstly, we consider the wishes of the bereaved and whether they have any preferences regarding flower types and colours. Giving someone their favourite flowers is a beautiful and personal gesture.

If no preferences are known, white flowers are almost always a good choice. White roses, for example, are a very classic choice that everyone appreciates. We also always consider the symbolism of the flowers. A white lily, for instance, represents purity and sympathy, whereas a camellia symbolises admiration and remembrance.

What message should you write on the funeral ribbon?

Funeral flowers are usually accompanied by a ribbon on which you can print your final greetings. A funeral ribbon usually consists of two parts. It is customary to write your name (or the names of those giving the flowers jointly) on one part and your message on the other.

There is one important rule for the final message: if the body is to be cremated, you should avoid using the words 'rest' or 'resting'. Therefore, although "Rest in peace" and similar phrases are appropriate for funerals, it's best to avoid them in the case of a cremation. Alternatives to these messages are:

• Out of sight, but not out of mind
• Thank you for everything, [name of deceased]
• Have a safe journey
• We'll miss you, [name of deceased]
• Goodbye, dear [name of deceased]

Sending funeral flowers to the funeral location

Did you receive a condolence card? You can also order funeral flowers through our website and have them delivered to the location. On this page, you'll find all our funeral flowers. As the preferred florist for many funeral venues, we work closely with them and are familiar with all the etiquette and unwritten rules surrounding funerals and flowers. We can discuss the options with the venues and ensure perfect and timely delivery. If you have any questions about your options, please don't hesitate to contact us. We are here for you.